interesting

something really interesting with my feeling here..i always walking around looking at people..friend family and also stranger..in just an instant i can see what kind person they are by just looking at them..this is pretty kewl..mostly what i seem are right..and i found that people around me ..major of them is not really such an ideal person..they just full of crap in them which i feel irritate just by looking at them..

kinda dissapointed with them ..they dun impress me..onli make me tickle myself..dunno why ..maybe last time i thought analyzing someone with my own thought is not a good manners..now is so diff ..i put tooo much thought on them and also i look too high on them..they are just worst than trash which is so fake..well ppl like them wont be real..haha..so imcomplete human..with flesh and no emotion..

alone is now i should be maintain..what i have now and what i see now..i really feel like wanna threw it away and start my whole thing again..it is so upside down now..lot of thought and that just make me wanna clean it all up..

no feeling to blog and talk anymore..those ppl..u know who..shut the hell up!!

tokyo drift photo

change

well..i dunno i should be happy or not..friend of mine just message and apologize because i said some angry word toward him ..well actually i nvr meant to make thing misunderstood ok ..i am just trying to be joke around onli..well cant blame him..i feel i gone a deep change..i started to find my ownself..which is good!but if my attidude this way make people around me think i am trying to pick a fight with them..it is so bad!that explain i dunno i shud be happy or not..

recently i do feel a change..i start to saying bye to my old self..i talk deifferent..i act diff and i see diff..untill now i still dunno am i doing the right thing..i am becoming fussy of what i wan ..but i do feel a bit cheer up all the time which i dun last time..maybe a change really do bring benefits and in mean time..not at all..i know its true that i shud be acting like myself and never care bout anyone of how they look at u ..well i am very sure that i dun wan my surrounding full with feeling of horror and fear ..so if i really wan to change to someone that make ppl annoyed and misunderstood always..i think i will remain even if i feel better..well people have to make terrible choice at all time..i am really sick of making decision..but thats what life for..so i am still alright with it by accepting who am i and what the god wan from me..i dunno what i am talking in here..

by the way ..THE FAST AND FURIOUS 3: TOKYO DRIFT is hell of a show man!! it surpass the previous wan ..with more action and asian japanese babes..those hot chick is damn fake man!! and the cars is wow!!! and their drift like YEAH!!! hhaha..i wan to go japan...

sleepless

i used to be one fellow that slep day tonight and from night to day..i used to be damn pig that i dun hear my ultra loud alarm and needed my sis from the other room to wake me up because she cannot bear to let the the alarm sound that hurting her ear but not mine...

all this is gone..i am sleepless ..everytime i just cant get into perfect sleep..and i look like shit every morning..i klnow what happen..it is because i been thinking too much ...every night i been thinking what the hell alll those jerk done to me and now i become vampire that wander alone at night ...the thing i dun undertsand is why i am not that fortunate like others..

why is it like i am born to suffer all those thing ..whenever i have a little hope on some matter..everyone will be rushing to destroy..i am no good..i am feeling realy tired..i am feeling really alone..i know i cant stand long..i need a good sleepp..please grant me one anyone..i hate those jerks that make my life so many problem..i wan to free from them..i wan to start a new world..i wan to be a perfect human being that is able to sleep more than 10 hours...

...

if there is any readers here..i bet u sure find out something..in case u dunno i will just explain...when zhien wei write a blog post..mostly of the time is really sad..i might be very piss off at times...so when i post i dun think it is something good..but i dun blog even worst..that mean that i dun even feel like talking about it..conclusion..i got too man bad days

getting fever twice in 2 weeks i totally stupid..i dunno why it happen just like that..i think that because i nvr take care of myself..but i am not ..i sleep well and i eat well..no way i will got easily sick just like those people in africa that sick because out of food..then i guess i am sick because my way of life..and that toally answer my question..recently things not going too well..find out too many thing..hurt by hell lot of factors..and thinking of all the fucks..i dun feel fair at all..i just lazy to list all out ...because it will be damn long and i will be really hurt to read the pain in my life..

it is ok if it happen once a while..but for those who dun know me well..actually i shud say that none of outside there know who the really me..even my parents..even her dun know me at all..it is not that i keep everything on my own..i know it is offencing to say so ..but u need effort if u really wan to know me..i guess this wprd dun hurt anyone because no one tend to understand me at all..for those who think they know me..blast off..onli i can judge u do well in understanding me a not..once again..i am saying that i am not those who keep eevrythin on my own..if u say i keep those..then u are just someone who not doing effort at all..i tell u i love to keep thing my own just because i am tired of your "no heart" act and to make u feel better..finnaly i still understand u people need..

happiness??for me it just a word..but for dissapointed..unfair..sad..and many more is those word thati truly understand and experience before..so dun argue with me and say i dun understand..u are just rejecting to believe u scum!!..

i feel better nowadays when i finally get to be alone..i dun love crowded..that just make me feel irritated and the feeling like u will got con and got heart pain is really not good after all..well i believe i am one tough one ..somebody might not think so ..because i dun wan to act tough..i believe i am tough and u cant argue with me ..i dun say gossip..even i do ..u really deserve it!!!(which i not yet start doing)..because this kinda toughness i believe i am not in some mental hospital..i guess when the god give u 99% of sadness they still let u have 1% for u stay alive..so they can torture u really well..it really need touchness to survice and i do survive..please for anyone reading this..dun call me a freak ..if u think so ..then what i say above is right for u ..then i dun really mind..because u are just not a fren that worth for me to catch an eye on u ...sayonara!!!

nephew

last week..on the 30th of may..at 7 20 of i am not wrong..a new life..an innocent soul..is brought to the world..he is my newphew..the baby of my big sis..i always use to think that born a baby is something really hard..but i think everyone can be able to handle ..even for a man if they are given a chance to do so ...which is impossible...

at the morning 7 am...my sis started her hours of hell with pain that cannot be describe in words..when i look at her..i know she cant take any single of that even it is one second..my heart feel so bitter..i want to help her so much ..but that is just a dream that wont come true..guess what..the total time for her to groan in pain is 12 hours!!!...it is hell long time..after i eat sleep and play also not yet born..i like what the hell..i given so many call to my brother in law..he like very fan liow to hear my sound..and he also tell me that his sand is in pain because my sis keep on grabbing him..my sis is not a violent person and my bro in law is really a muscle man..that one i really dunno how to feel at the moment...

if u ppl wondering why so long that it take 12 hourss..is because my sis is a lazy freak..that eat sleep and eat thats why her "there" can open widely so have to wait and wait till it is big enough lorh ...hahha..maybe should blame herself ..too bad lorh..

the moment the baby is born really bring lot of chnagess..everyone is happy bout it..my realative that seldom meet also come and visit us and ask about it..i suddenly in one night jadi uncle i also dunno how to say about my feeling..i used to think it is nothing..but now i got the feeling that i should always teach him to be a useful man...hahhaa

well that all for today ..will post his picture as fast as possible...

benfit

people can be really realistic at time..what they really wan from u something so simple..benefit benefit and benefit..when anyone do have benefit for others..it do give him or her a good policy because he or she get massive attention..but if anyone without it ..people will not ever try to be responsible toward u ..they can make u piss off and they dun break a sweat..they dun find themself making any wrong...they just complain we are too sensitive to be angry..thing like this nvr appear onli between stranger but also frenship loveship..and also family ship(is that what they call??)

i find out something really stupid..being in a bad guy situation is really going to make u having a good phase..u dun need to worry much because those good guys will do everything for u ..u dun have to rush for a appoinment..u dun need to feel bad when u says something wrong..u wont feel bad when u put the blame on other..u wun feel bad when u make some joke that is very insulting..because whenever the opposite fellow u are dealing with gone angry..u can solve it by telling everyone that he or she is sensitive,not open minded..cant take joke or he/she is a wood and many many more

beside .,.being a good guy..u need to do completely the other way round of the bad guys do and it will of coz double your brain damage cell and u have to be look dowm ..and u cant be angry ..because ppl tend to tell u are sensitive and those irresponsible and not true word..

is that how the morale value exist in this world..is this world really that wonderful to live on ..in career..education..family..and lot of industry..incident like this occur uncountable number..especially in politics..we are not done from history cold war..we never end any cold war in anyone heart..people love to gossip and talk bad about each other..both for me have been majority of everyone personality ..as for the minority..they just born to sufer..

things like that i really cant be able to understand..i cant be able to change but i do feel proud of myself that i dun allowed myself to suit with this negative personality ...treating each or every single humang beings in this universe with heart and help them when they need is always my point to move on with my life..i am not trying to say i am a priest or what..it just that i am not that kind of bastard that move on and hurting bunch of ppl heart everyday ..people like that should go to hell no mater how success he or she was in his life..treating people like dog already lose the meaning of living in this world..talking bad bout others to cover his evil deed is shit..talking like he is the king of the conversation and telling people sensitive when they say something really fuck is bull shit..and not appreciatte others and looking for benefit from surrrounding is damn shit..

i still dun understand why i am destined to meet up with bunch of people like that.,i think the worst thing is u have to face people everyda that is so evil..because that is deep shit!!!