bad day

been telling her yesterday that my eye is not feeling well..i cant sit still..i cant concentrate..i dun feel good larh haih..i told her that something bad is gonna happen..something REALLYY bad will happen..but end up yesterday nothing happen after i stuck myself home the whole day and at my room for hours!!!so today wake u p kinda relief then go college...ish ish ish..went college my nightmare happen!!i study wrong thing for maths..forget everything..pass and fail through my prediction ..i am just at the border line..ish ish ish..i know something bad gonna happen..this is just the beginning..

clover..my classmate suddenly got stomachache ..so as always..the good heart and kind hearted me said "hey !!go home and sleep larh..i give u a ride"...who will be so good ppl ..u tell me!!clover is sort of like just a noral fren..and i just knew her a few months..i am not even know her very well..u ppl might think maybe her beauty attract me..but i am not that kinda ppl!!!(enenthough i do think she sort of hot !! :P) ..i cant prove that i am not those ppl by telling u ppl the godzilla of tokyo a.k.a Foo Zhen Cui is my "kai LUI" and the kind of all beast is a.k.a beast kwan yee ming and his mentor and king of all hell satan oii tuan leng is my fren..thats why!!!cant u see i am angel from heaven..i even pity someone like chin fei ..that addict to donkey sucking ..haih..one more one more!!i also got a most retard child michelle leong that always seek for sweet from me!!!no one dare to go near them..but i am not those...so i am an angel somehow

Cut the crap..on the way fetching clover home..i have to go through this traffic light..damn when it is my turn to turn the light show red..and suddenly i feel something trigger me..i feel something!!! like the scene from the movie final destination..the onli thing i dun have is a vision..damn!!! after i make a turn..i heard a honk..and from my back mirror..i saw someone that look like a police..well my thought is "damn u !!i not driving fast also ...why honk??"

dun care larh ..i drive onli then till another trafffic light..he call me park somewhere!!!i like..i know the sense is no wrong..something is gonna happen..negotiate and negotiate..clover is scare there that she dun even to move..worry the police gonna rape her or something..i say dun worry larh!!!i wont let him touch u wan..look at his face!!!he look so innocent(but cant blame clover..he really loook like a serial rapist..i hope police force must be put higher standard in reqruit poliuce officer in look..they really look more like robber than life saver!!)...well i thought this police is diff..i thought he will give me saman without asking for moiney..i am wrong..damn wrong..he ask for moenya nyhow..i nvr say anything..beside "give me a chance,give me a chance" hahha...

i am in college IT room..sense something not right until at night..i sudenly feel like blogging ..just because i worry i cant be bloggging anymore after tonight hahah..by the way ...i really hate the feeling like u know somehting gonna happen but u dunno what it is!!!i rather i dun have those feeling..it make me start thinking and thinking..god!!if u are around..please tkae those away from me..it is so stupid i tell u..if u wan us to feel..then give us a way to prevent it ..u shud let me know i should obey the rule right..then the officer wotn do any sin and i wont be losing money larh...haih..one day i die liow..i will change and make everyone either know the future or dunno anything at alll ok!!!!i promise u human being...

yo!! i am back

hey hey hey...the devil is back !!!hahah...sorry for those who read my blog(onli a few of them i guess :P) i am finally back to bloggging again!!!dun ask me why ..it is sad to think back..haih..lot of thing happen nowadays..it may be a bad experience or a lesson in life..wake up everyday in the morning i feel that i got a long hard way to go till tomoro..so i really hope night will reach where i can enjoy lying on my bed and when it is night..but i hope the night will remain forever because i udn need to face the another tomoro(dream on!!) haha..

i still remember once someone told me that a leo (i mean my birthday star) is someone that really need attention from lot of people..i always thought it is real because i always feel really bad when i am left alone..and being neglected..i thought it is not a good attidude to remain when i knew i got something like that..i rrefuse to change ..i refuse because i know i am born like that..god make me like that..my childhood make me like that..and that is how the fate want me to be..that is how i think during the period of my teenager life..so during that time..i try hard to make more fren(to look liek a boss) make myself look smart(to impress girl) make myself full of sense of humor(to make everyone around me to like me)...that is how my life keep on for a long long time..

life is totally a different way ..when i gone into college..with a deserted place like this..a class which consist only 7 ppl..it is really hard for me..i feel boring..it doesnt mean that they are no good..i agree with yee shuang saying that anyone cannot stay in a gang for a very long time..i used to have fun time with my new classmate for a month something..but when all the excitement over..and when i got to know them lot..i feel very blank..i dunno what to say to them when i meet them or in any event when i got to do something with them..so during this chaos time(chaos that seem so calm) i miss my old schoolmate..i remmeber the moment where i got to have fun around and different fren is all around the corner ..wow!!make me wanna tear liow (but i never...devil never cry marh )i look for them ..i ask them out..somehow i unno why ...the feeling is not what i expected..we seem so stranger to each other..maybe that is what happen when everyone got their own life in some place..so everytime i am back after having fun with them..i try to find the excitement but it just never appear..that is really sad ...

haha...reader please do not think i am going to jump off the building or not..well i certainly will n0t...haha(are u dissapointed??)i find for a way ..i find a new life..i knew i cant stick with my past anymore..i try to make myself used to being alone so i can fell much better..i try to make more friend within the college..and let myself none stop learning..voila!!!haha..i feel much happier..it does not mean that my past is a tragic..it just that a new situation need a new way of life..so in my situation..i am just happy i found the right way of living to suit my situation..peace!!!

i learn a lot recently ..something that beyond my imagination..i am really happy with it..i also learn to be independant when i am totally alone..i try to full used my time..so i wont be thinking bad thing and negative stuff..i am getting happier and happier..much more cheerful than ever..

now..when i am writing this post..i feel how stupid i am last time to refuse to change my bad..if ia m able to change now..why cant i change last time..i wasted a lot of time..i should not be that stubborn last time..or i will be better now..and lern more stuff than now a few hundred time..but i wont be sad a bout it..i will onli feel regret and laugh at my childishness..

but seriously...she is the reason i became like that..althought she never do anything(she dun even know i am that depress at time!!) she is still the main factor i am here to write this long post..i hope god will bless her and me..eventhough we got a hard time to show love toward each other(due to parental disagree) we still get to improve out realationship..so i know how strong our bond is ...no matter what..i am not going to break it .!!!i promise me..my beloved huey bing~~~