support

some times it is not that i wan to lose to fate..but i cant fight with something i cant be able to hold..fate is something that change so fast that it happen just like that..but my fate is a bit special..beside going real fast..it actually repeat it too.. but no matter how i try to learn how fate goes..i just cant grap it at all..

i been having the experience over and over again..this feeling is really torturing and everytime it happen ..i will not be able to bare it and i will die once..it is true..my feeling and emotion will die just like that..i feel that i am not controling anyone,any situation and anytime..instead i am being control..deeply.. it makes me do not have to right to make any decision and choices..i do not have the power to control how people look at me..and also lack the ability to save myself..

asking what i need???i need to be myself..a cheerful,happy and confident..i wan a chance to control and to manipulate..to gain archievement..dignity and also my pride of being ...me..just me..asking what i need to change?? lifestyle..not being a nobody..but being somebody and is ONEbody..asking what i do not wish to have??negative emotion..jealousy..greediness and also vengence and hatred..emotion block my dream and create obstacle to who i really wan to be..

and lastly ..support from everyone..but it will be hardest thing to ever get..i wish i do have support...