dilemma

thng have been gone kind a struggle.i start to wonder what i really wan to have in my life and also what i wan to do as well..nowadays a lot incident kinda giving me a hint that my life should not be that way..i once thought that i am somebody that know what i am doing..but now..i do not have the confidence anymore to be sure for others and be sure for myself..

every action i did..every feeling i feel..am i the one that feeling i truly feel or maybe i am just being covered by ego and being covered by my arrogance..i wont be happy of what i did..it might be some action i wan to throw to others to make sure i am bein respected..but gaining respected in the other way destroy ur own life is something i dun think it as worthy action but still i will do it..i do not know why ..maybe i am blind in my heart..blind with greed,arrogance,anger and also vengence..

i want my life to back how it was..i really miss it very much..i do not like myself now that is always full with question marks and wondering..time by time..i know that i one day i could not stand it anymore..and i am confirm i will be regret if this kind of problem do not stop..

i hope i could save myself...